Saturday, August 5, 2017

Gremlins Vs Critters: The Fight Part Two

See the first part here.

Gremlins (9) vs Critters (5)


One of the critters rounded a corner, fleeing Scratch's gunshots. In the corner was another Gremlin, just ignoring the ruckus and poking at a keyboard, singing a little song to itself. The computer screen flipped through spreadsheets and data, while the gremlin continued punching random keys, changing numbers and file names.

The critter jumped at the chance, bouncing over and grabbing the gremlin's face in it's mouth. Instantly the scaled green beast started flailing around as the critter chewed through the scales and flesh and started biting into the bone. One clawed hand smashed the computer screen, reaching in and digging claws into wires and circuits. Sparks shot everywhere as the electricity ran up the gremlin's arm and coursed through the two. The critter's eyes bulged, then exploded, and the furball let go, falling onto the floor, hair sizzled and smoked. The gremlin fell over too, coughing, smoke billowing out of its mouth. It blew a smoke ring before passing out.

The other critters rolled carefully around the edge of the room, watching out for more gremlins now. One bounced up onto a table to get a better view of the carnage of the room. It looked clear. There was only the two gremlins on the floor shot full of spines, snoring peacefully away, and the splatter of dead Crites. It turned back to the others, only to see them staring back in horror at the wing-like ears that rose up behind it. It turned back and the gremlin ducked back under the table, leaving the Crite swinging back and forth from the otherwise empty looking room and the critters still huddled together on the floor.

Then it turned back and found itself face to face with the gremlin for a moment before it was stabbed with a pair of syringes, random chemicals shooting into it while the gremlin laughed. The critter started to swell as the combination of chemicals produced gases inside it, blowing it up like a balloon, gas leaking out of its mouth and around its eyes before lifting up from the table, bouncing against the ceiling, where it stayed.

"Fuck this shit!" The last three critters rolled up, bouncing as fast as they could for the door. A hapless gremlin stepped out in front of them from around the corner of a desk and the three of them laid into it, eating through its body in seconds and continuing on. They made it to the door and bounced through into the hallway, one, two, then the door slammed shut on the third one, squashing it between the door and the frame. The other two paused only long enough to look back, then bounced down the hall as fast as they could deeper into a building only further infested with gremlins.

Scratch opened the door back up, admiring his handiwork at the green slim and tufts of hair that showed the Crite he'd caught in the door when he'd slammed it shut. He squinted down the dark hallway after the other two and cackled to himself.


Victor: Gremlins

Final count
Gremlins: 2 dead, 3 incapacitated
Crites: 8 dead

What happened

Looking back at the creature analysis, it became pretty clear who would win. The Crites had real viciousness and intent to kill on their side, but they seriously lacked in durability, intelligence, and any kind of reach. They're small and relatively fragile, so rely on two main things: fear and numbers. The Gremlins have no fear of anything but light, and in a scenario like this where it's equal numbers, the Crites just lost the things they needed to pull it out.

Their spines are strong enough for a single shot to put down a grown human, but we've seen in movies that even people shot with a dozen spines or more don't suffer any extra ill effects, and are back to normal within a few hours once they're removed, so there was no chance of getting a kill from them unless they could follow up and devour their victim, which they couldn't do in this setting.

Likewise, their ability to grow larger with enough food was a non-item in this fight as there wasn't enough food, or time for them to take advantage of it.

On the Gremlin's side, they have an extremely high durability and an immunity to pain which meant even with an arm eaten off and a Crite still chewing on them, they still weren't out of the fight. It also meant that in cases like electrocution which would take them both down, the Gremlin would likely still survive while the Crite wouldn't.

You also can't disregard the Gremlin's penchant for mischief combined with their natural aptitude for damage. The syringe Gremlin for example, was likely just messing around by grabbing two syringes and sticking them in the Crite, but by its own nature, likely grabbed a combination of chemicals that would react in a destructive way when combined.

Put simply, the Gremlins could, on a 1-to-1 basis, take everything the Crites could dish out, and return it right back, while the Crites turned out to be paper tigers.

What do you think? Do you disagree? Is there something I left out? Leave a note in the comments or hit me up on social media!

~ Shaun


  1. Not the outcome I had expect but a fun ride to get there. -Zak

    1. Yeah, the Crites just turned out to be too squishy to put up much of a fight, and they could only kill with their mouths vs the Gremlins being tough and good all-around fighters-ish.