Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Gremlins Vs Critters: Gremlins

So, here we go, looking at the first of the combatants. Gremlins. You can also click here to check out their opponents, the Crites.

Theatrically, these guys are the underdogs, with only two movies to their name. There is a lot of screen time for both them and their abilities though. So there's a lot of information here to go over.

I'm going to start with the preamble that we're talking about the Gremlins after their cocoons, not the furry little Mogwais. Otherwise they would pretty much be the equivalent of popcorn chicken for the Crites.


1. Basic physicality.

These are little monsters, so they come pre-equipped with the textbook razor sharp claws and teeth. They also feel very little pain, and can shrug off wounds that would kill other creatures. In Gremlins 2, for example, we see one of them get riddled with a machine gun. The creature's response was to grab something to drink, just to watch the liquid pour out of the holes and laugh about it with the other Gremlins that were there.

Gremlins are also disproportionately strong for their size, able to wield chainsaws, throw saw blades hard enough to embed them in walls, knock out grown men with a single punch, and rip 2-inch electrical conduit out of the wall, live wires included.

2. Mutations

So, in Gremlins 2, we found out that the creatures are extremely malleable with their genetic code and appearance. Several mutated after downing laboratory-quality distilled hormones and essences. They grew wings, turned into vegetables, got smarter, and others. Now, it should be pointed out that we saw easily a dozen Gremlins drinking from different vials and flasks, so a mutation isn't a guarantee. Going from the number of mutations vs the number of Gremlins, odds seem to be about 1 in 3 of a mutation with extremely high quality materials. Still, if there happen to be any such liquids around during the battle, the Crites might find themselves facing quite a different opponent.

3. Intelligence.

Gremlins are known for messing up electronics and machinery. They seem to have an almost 'sixth-sense' for knowing exactly how to break something or to make it malfunction. Knowing just the right way to break something at just the right time, might turn the tide if they get into a sticky situation.

They also have a basic intelligence. They know how to work things like elevators, guns, chainsaws, and theater projectors. So anything that's handy, they're likely to use.

4. Reproduction

All it takes is one Gremlin and a water source. With just a single drop of water, one Gremlin becomes two in just a couple minutes. Increase the water, and you increase the Gremlins to a ratio of five or six for each one you started with. As long as the water keeps flowing, each new Gremlin is capable of giving 'birth' in the same way as soon as it can stand. So it stands to reason that the Crites need to finish this fight quickly before any pipes get broken, or they going to be overwhelmed with sheer numbers.


1. Intelligence

Despite their innate knowledge of machinery, Gremlins aren't particularly smart. Being that they don't feel a lot of pain, they have no problem walking into situations that include their own dismemberment or death, and they don't feel any need to take cover or retreat from most dangers.

While Gremlins enjoy mischief and are generally malicious, they aren't actually out to kill or hurt people. They do it for fun and for laughs. Now, I say generally, because every so often, a Gremlin pops out which is particularly nasty. These tend to be the leaders, directing traffic to achieve maximum damage and destruction. In the movies, these were seen as Stripe in the first movie, and Mohawk in the second, although Mohawk ended up being usurped by the Brain Gremlin. Without a leader, many Gremlins are just as happy drinking beer, partying, and watching musicals as they are biting and scratching people.

2. Sunlight / Bright lights

This is how you kill Gremlins. Either direct sunlight or exceptionally bright lightbulbs. First they start to smoke, then they burn, then they melt into green and brown puddles, bones and all. It's also one of the few things they fear and that inflicts actual pain on them. So if you want to send the Gremlins running for cover, this is what you use.

So, that's pretty much my rundown of the Gremlins side of this fight. Do you agree with all my points? Is there anything I left out? Let me know in the comments, on my Facebook page, or my Twitter. I would love to hear from any and all opinions on this matter!

Check back next week when we go over the Crites!

~ Shaun

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